In the last month, 3 people I know all around the same age have died from cancer and a close relative is now following a similar fate. I find I am becoming preoccupied with the injustice of it all. Hand on heart all these people were really good living people. They were all in their late 60s and early 70s which is still young to me especially when they should be enjoying their retirement. It has had a huge impact on me. Suddenly saving for the rainy day isn't so important, rather living for the moment and getting the most out of every day and being the best i can be to myself and everyone around me is more important. I tend to appreciate smaller things in my life now where as before I was so busy I would miss them.
My fathers death had a massive impact on me. I must admit there was a time I did think about putting an end to his suffering but at least we all got a chance to tell him how much we loved him while we could. He was 1 week from retiring from the building profession when he has an accident which left him paralysed. We took care of him for 8 years before he died. What I found heartbreaking was that in the morning he would tell me that in his dreams he was walking and then he would wake up and find he couldn't move-how can you answer that?
About an hour before he died I got a message in a dream but I didn't understand it. It was a flashing message on a computer screen and then alot of text being written so fast i couldn't read. In the dream I put my hand down to my side and felt a warm arm and strange sensation. I woke up immediately having felt something touch me. it wa sstill dark and I was so startled I had to go out to my mothers room and ask If I could sleep in her bed-I would have been about 25 at the time. I continued to dream that someone or something was trying to get into my fathers hospital room and I was trying to shut the door.Next there was a phone call from the hospital to come in. The rest is history-----
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